Part 2 of my "Journey to fulfill a promise"

A boat on the bike path to the bay

Part 2 of Journey to Fulfill a Promise

 

My plan was simple.  I didn't want to stress myself with major goals, then fail in accomplishing those goals, finish my trip feeling like I failed my mom.  I expressed to my wife and anyone who would listen that I simply wanted to "walk the earth where my mom walked."  That simply meant to visit Kagoshima and walk around, seeing the beauty of this Prefecture.  Kagoshima is large and without knowing the exact city/town of my mom's birthplace, the chances of finding her birth home were slim to none.  Just walking around in her Prefecture was my success.  But (always a but with me), secondary to that, and in this order, I wanted to pay respect, for my mom, to her parents' grave.  You see, my thought was her blood is coursing through my body and therefore my presence is her presence.  Since she wasn't able to I would ensure she paid her respects.  Lastly, if I could, not pressuring myself, I would like to meet, if possible, any of my mom's living siblings.  Folks, happy to tell you this; I walked the earth in the exact same spots my mom walked; Paid respect to her parent's remains; found my mother's 2 surviving sisters and have already met, hugged, kissed and held one.  The other is coming to visit me this Friday and I will host them both at the hotel I am staying, enjoying the company of them both.  An OMG is appropriate and yes, many tears have fallen.  So now, sit back and read the story of how this came about....it is absolutely mystical.

 

I wanted to be sure there were no other footprints when I walked

 

Part 1 ended with me contacting the English teacher via email and she said we could meet Monday.  So, Monday came and I walked to her office, less than 100 yards from my hotel.  As I waited for this woman to show, I was excited at the thought of learning Japanese, if possible.  Well, the woman and her husband, Cindy and Niang, showed up together, we greeted each other and sat in her office/classroom discussing Japanese classes and why I was visiting Japan.  Cindy, not being shy, said, "I can't teach you enough Japanese in 2 weeks to wander around looking for your relatives.  I will help you find them.”  I thought cool!!.  She explained she had lived in Japan for over 25 years and she knew a thing or two.  She said Kagoshima was small, but little did she know how small it really is.  Cindy decided we should visit the local city hall for a start, but we went for lunch first.  I wanted Japanese food, so we drove to a few restaurants until we found one open.  We had great meals and Cindy, after returning to our table said, "Whoa....just had a flashback.  I was at this restaurant a few years ago on a similar situation."  We all laughed, not realizing this was one of many strange occurrences that was to take place.  After lunch we visited city hall, spoke with the English speaking liaison, Alex, there and felt we made a little progress.  Alex was going to make some calls for us and grease the skids at a city hall over 2 hours away, but he said I would need my birth certificate when I arrived there.  It was settled.  Wednesday, Cindy, Niang and I would drive to the town of Uchinoura and see if their city hall had any information on my mom's family.  Here it was Monday, I just arrived late Friday, excited that maybe on Wednesday, 5 days after landing in Japan, I would find a lead.  Cindy and Niang dropped me off at my hotel and we arranged to drive Wednesday, over 2 hours away, and start the hunt.  My task was to get my birth certificate before Wednesday. 

All Monday night and Tuesday I called the office of vital statistics in my state of birth; Kansas City, MO.  Turns out they wouldn't email me a birth certificate and it would take over 2 weeks.  Talked to my wife for ideas to expedite the birth certificate and we decided to have it sent to her and she would then email to me.  I hung up with her and for some reason I didn’t order the birth certificate.  Something told me I wouldn’t need it.  So, I found my mom’s obituary and printed it out instead.  If anyone needed proof she was my mom, her obituary listed me as one of her sons.

Cindy could not meet me Tuesday because she had to teach an English class.  Well, during her class she asked her students if they knew of anyone in Uchinoura.  Someone did!  Crazily, their contact led to the best friend of one of my mom’s sisters.  That friend called my aunt and then, my aunt called Cindy.  Folks, Cindy’s husband told me how happy and surprised Cindy was when she received the call.  Niang told me his wife was ecstatic after she got off the phone and wanted to call me that night and tell me the news, but he convinced her to wait until the next morning when we were meeting to drive to Unchinoura.

Wednesday morning we met at my hotel and Cindy casually walked up and said, “Last night I spoke with your Aunt Hitomi-san!”  I looked at her like a deer in the headlights and said, “What?!”  She repeated what she said then I freaked out!  I couldn’t believe it!  She told me what happened and here is the weirder part.  My son is named Yoshino.  He is named after my brother, who passed away in 1984.  I loved my brother so much and because he was such a great brother and example for me, plus, I wanted to be able to say his name again, I named my son after him.  Well, my aunt lives in the town named Yoshino.  Turns out my other surviving aunt lives in Nagoya.  Ok, I started catching my breath and Cindy said we would meet my aunt in Yoshino, 40 minutes from my hotel, on Saturday. 

Sakemoto-san; best friend of my Aunt Hitomi-san

As we ate breakfast Cindy gave me some more shattering news.  We were still going to Uchinoura, but not to the city hall.  We were going to meet my Aunt Hitomi’s best friend, Sakemoto-san, and she was going to take me to my mom’s parents’ temple/shrine and her childhood home.  OMG….5 days after landing, having no contacts, no plans, no phone service, can’t speak the language, no information on anything…just showing up and I was now going to walk the earth my mom walked and pay respect to my grandparents’ shrine for my mother.  Man, I couldn’t eat fast enough.  Me, Cindy and Niang drove over 2 hours gabbing all the way.  It seemed that we were best friends, enjoying each other’s company and getting to know each other’s lives.  Well, we stopped at a city hall, near a school, where Sakemoto-san was to meet us.  I could barely breath I was so excited!!  Unfortunately, after Cindy talked w/ Sakemoto-san, we were in the wrong town, at the wrong city hall.  So, we piled back in the car and drove to the city hall in Uchinoura.  There, we met Sakemoto-san, the best friend of my Aunt Hitomi.  It was like I was meeting family.  We hugged and she told me how much I looked like an Abe, my mom’s family.  She told me she knew my mom’s whole family and went to their house many times.  It was hard for me to process, but I was standing in the town my mother was raised.  Sakemoto-san said she would take us to the temple and shrine of my mom’s parents.  The storms damaged the graves so the town built a large shrine next to the temple and that is where they house the remains of family members from the town.  We arrived and I stood in front of the temple my mom used to attend as a youth and was so freaked out…I got an asthma attack.  We met the temple priest, Kenshi Kugawa, who happened to be the best friend of my mom’s youngest brother, Nobuyuki.  Kenshi-san also knew all my mom’s family members and he too knew my mom’s parents really well.  Beside the temple was the large building, or shrine, that housed the cremated remains of family members.  They took me in and Sakemoto-san walked me through the proper way to pay respect to my grandmother and grandfather.  Needless to say, I cried so hard, but inside I felt I was crying for my mom.  Through me, she finally paid her respect to her parents, that I know.  We then visited the temple and again, I balled like a baby (see the theme…I see something…I cry:).  After we said our goodbyes to Kenshi-san, it was off to see my mom’s childhood home.

 

My mom's childhood temple

Building/shrine beside the temple that houses

cremated remains of my grandparents

 

Sakemoto-san showing me what I need to do to pay respect

My mom, through me, finally standing before her mother and father's remains, paying respect

The cabinets below house the remains of family members

 

The Abe Shrine 

Saying a prayer in my mom's temple

 

Kenshi-san, best friend of my mom's brother, Nobuyaki

Turns out, a storm destroyed the home my mom lived in as a youth, but on the same piece of land, my Aunt Hitomi’s husband built another home for my grandmother.  So, yes, I got to walk the earth my mom walked.

We arrived in 3 minutes to the Abe home.  OMG…..it was so tough to process all that was going on.  5 days after I landed everything I had dreamed about was coming true.  The son of my mom’s youngest brother, Nobuyaki, now lived in the house but no one was home.  Sakemoto-san asked us to wait and she went around knocking on doors.  Well, from behind my mom’s house Sakemoto-san comes and she is walking with someone who lives 2 homes away from my mom’s house.  It is Kosou Usui, the son of my grandmother’s sister, cousin to my mom and me.  So, I got to meet the first cousin I’ve ever met in my entire life!  My dad is a foster child, with no relatives and 45 years ago we only met my mom’s immediate family once.  We hugged and Cindy told him we were cousins.  He kept saying how happy he was and that filled my heart with so much joy that he accepted me as his family.  Here is the funny part to the story.  In the car, on the way from Kagoshima to Uchinoura, I had told Cindy and Niang how tough my mom was and that she probably beat up many people in her village.  Well, I asked her to ask my cousin if he remembered my mom.  He said of course.  Now, this was a mild-mannered elderly Japanese man, but when I asked Cindy to ask my cousin if my mom was tough, what he did just made me laugh sooo hard.  He punched himself in the face and raised his hands as if he were cowering and when he did that I knew he really did know my mom:)  She was tough, but with the biggest heart.  She gave you everything she had regardless of how little she had.  If you did right…you were good.  If you did wrong, you would look like my cousin getting whooped on the head a few times…haha.  We left my cousin, which broke my heart, and went to lunch.  Yes, I invited him, but he was awaiting a call from his sick sister so unfortunately he couldn’t join us.  We had a wonderful lunch, provided by Sakemoto-san, which included fish-head soup, saba, miso soup and a few other delicious dishes.  What a treat because much of the food was exactly the way my mom prepared it.  The restaurant was 30 yards from my mom’s house and behind the restaurant was the beach.  Yes, my mom lived on the beach.  It was her playground.  Her sister told me she would always swim in the water and play around the beach.  Sakemoto-san had to depart to do a task, so after she departed, we went back to the beach in front of my mom’s house and just soaked up the moment.  The sand and scene looked like Southern California.  My wife, kids and friends can tell you, I am massively attracted to the beach.  Every opportunity I can, I walk in the water and sand.  Now I know…it’s in my blood. 

First cousin I have ever met in my entire life; Kosou Usui

 

 The land where my mom's childhood home stood.  Now, this is the new home, but same land.  The writing on the wall says, "Abe." 

Our lunch at the restaurant behind my mom's childhood home

 

Cindy, Niang and I finished enjoying the beach, drove by the school my mom attended and headed back to my hotel, exhausted from the wonderful experience of fulfilling my promise to my mom, but just thankful for how things turned out. 

 

 

 

My mom's old playground.  The beach and water in front of their home.  Those are my feet walking the earth my mom walked

 

Ok, if you got this far, here is something really crazy.  It’s like a magician’s trick.  You know the one.  They give you a card, you rip it up and then they pull an egg out of a carton, crack it open and bammm…inside is your card with your name on it. 

So, my mom gave all of her children the Abe family seal.  I just wanted to confirm it.  Cindy just so happened to have a folder with all the family seals in Japan.  She has had this folder for 15 or more years.  Keep in mind she has been in Japan for 25 years, so she said it could have been longer.  Later in the week, Cindy brought out the folder, showed me the list of family seals, then she gasped really loud.  I asked her what was wrong and she held up the folder.  On the folder is a picture of a person and beside him was his name:  Michy.  This guy’s name is the same as mine, but unlike me, he spells the short version with a “y” and I spell mine like this:  Michi.  Crazy, huh??  For some reason that folder epitomizes this entire trip.  Chance occurrences that keep happening.  Why did I choose this hotel?  It isn’t even close to Kagoshima.  If I didn’t come to this hotel, I wouldn’t have met Cindy, who had that folder, she wouldn’t have asked her class the question, I wouldn’t have had such wonderful service from staff who had been to my hometown, etc, etc….I don’t know. 

This is the folder.  My name is on the upper left

 

Tomorrow, Part 3….meeting my aunt.  Would she accept me?  How would the meeting go?  All these things raced through my mind as the day got closer. 

 Me, Cindy and Niang

Only one missing is Scooby:)