Part 3 of my "Journey to fulfill a promise"

My grandfather and grandmother or in Japanese, my Ojiichan and Obaachan

Part 3 of Journey to Fulfill a Promise

Yesterday, I was going to write part 3 of this incredible journey, the meeting with my aunt, but the story did not come to me.  Throughout this entire journey I have vowed to allow things to unfold and not force it.  Today, part 3 has revealed itself to me.  For those of you that have followed this journey with me, you know, I didn't come to pay my respect or even meet a relative.  Simply wanted to "walk the earth my mother walked."  Yes, I wanted to do those other things if at all possible, but upon my departure from Japan, my success would have been complete by simply coming, seeing Kagoshima and departing.  Some force has allowed me though, to not only walk in the exact same spots on this earth as my mother, but also, pay respect to her parents, for her, and meet her surviving sister, my aunt, Hitomi-san.  Friday, I will meet my mom's only other surviving sibling, her sister, my aunt, Tamami-san, who is flying in from Nagoya and staying at my hotel. 

Last Saturday couldn't come fast enough.  That was the day I was to meet my mom's sister, and my aunt, Hitomi.  As I said in the other parts of the story, Hitomi-san lives in the town of Yoshino (yes, same name as my son).  So, we drove to Yoshino and I couldn't contain myself.  Would she reject me because I'm only half Japanese?  How would she receive me?  Many questions were racing through my mind, as we drove through the winding streets of Yoshino, in full view of the beautiful volcano, Sakurajima.  We finally stopped, but we couldn't find the exact home, so my friends knocked on a random door and asked for directions.  Crazily enough the woman who answered said, "We have been waiting for you!"  So, seemed the whole neighborhood knew we were coming.  She told us the way to my aunt's house and we drove a little further, pulling into the driveway and out came this woman who looked like my mother.  OMG...it was my aunt Hitomi-san.  I got out and tried to blurt out in Japanese the proper greeting, but emotions, tears and her jumping on me ended all the formalities.  She hugged me exactly like my mom used to...really tight!!  My fears were quieted; she accepted me as family.  It was a great feeling to receive such a loving welcome from family.  Truly cannot tell you the emotions I felt at that time....will simply allow the pictures to tell the story.

 Haven't been hugged by blood relatives like this since my mom passed away; long overdue feeling and yes, lots of tears

 She wouldn't let me go....nice feeling!

My aunt had been talking with Cindy and she had hugs and tears for her too:)

Funny, she is hugging me like my mom used to....with both hands together around my waist

Easy to love someone who shows their love

 My aunt and her husband, my uncle,

Nakae-san...a great man

 My Obaachan and her sister.  Both lived to be over 100 years old.  My Obaachan just died 3 years ago....just missed seeing her by a few years:(

Great day!  We talked to my aunt in Nagoya and she agreed to come visit me and stay at my hotel.  So, this Friday my two aunts, their husbands, my Kirishima family, Cindy and Niang, plus my new friends Ryuji and Tomoyo, will all meet at my hotel and celebrate family.  My journey will be more than complete, but it won't be the end....it will be the beginning of a relationship with family that I hope to see for many more years; that is my new promise!   

Tomorrow is part 4.  It's about my golf outing with my new found uncle.  For anyone that knows me, I love to golf.  Turns out my uncle is a wonderful golfer.  We were joined by my two new friends, Ryuji and Tomoyo.   What a day, what a course and what an experience. 

Part 2 of my "Journey to fulfill a promise"

A boat on the bike path to the bay

Part 2 of Journey to Fulfill a Promise

 

My plan was simple.  I didn't want to stress myself with major goals, then fail in accomplishing those goals, finish my trip feeling like I failed my mom.  I expressed to my wife and anyone who would listen that I simply wanted to "walk the earth where my mom walked."  That simply meant to visit Kagoshima and walk around, seeing the beauty of this Prefecture.  Kagoshima is large and without knowing the exact city/town of my mom's birthplace, the chances of finding her birth home were slim to none.  Just walking around in her Prefecture was my success.  But (always a but with me), secondary to that, and in this order, I wanted to pay respect, for my mom, to her parents' grave.  You see, my thought was her blood is coursing through my body and therefore my presence is her presence.  Since she wasn't able to I would ensure she paid her respects.  Lastly, if I could, not pressuring myself, I would like to meet, if possible, any of my mom's living siblings.  Folks, happy to tell you this; I walked the earth in the exact same spots my mom walked; Paid respect to her parent's remains; found my mother's 2 surviving sisters and have already met, hugged, kissed and held one.  The other is coming to visit me this Friday and I will host them both at the hotel I am staying, enjoying the company of them both.  An OMG is appropriate and yes, many tears have fallen.  So now, sit back and read the story of how this came about....it is absolutely mystical.

 

I wanted to be sure there were no other footprints when I walked

 

Part 1 ended with me contacting the English teacher via email and she said we could meet Monday.  So, Monday came and I walked to her office, less than 100 yards from my hotel.  As I waited for this woman to show, I was excited at the thought of learning Japanese, if possible.  Well, the woman and her husband, Cindy and Niang, showed up together, we greeted each other and sat in her office/classroom discussing Japanese classes and why I was visiting Japan.  Cindy, not being shy, said, "I can't teach you enough Japanese in 2 weeks to wander around looking for your relatives.  I will help you find them.”  I thought cool!!.  She explained she had lived in Japan for over 25 years and she knew a thing or two.  She said Kagoshima was small, but little did she know how small it really is.  Cindy decided we should visit the local city hall for a start, but we went for lunch first.  I wanted Japanese food, so we drove to a few restaurants until we found one open.  We had great meals and Cindy, after returning to our table said, "Whoa....just had a flashback.  I was at this restaurant a few years ago on a similar situation."  We all laughed, not realizing this was one of many strange occurrences that was to take place.  After lunch we visited city hall, spoke with the English speaking liaison, Alex, there and felt we made a little progress.  Alex was going to make some calls for us and grease the skids at a city hall over 2 hours away, but he said I would need my birth certificate when I arrived there.  It was settled.  Wednesday, Cindy, Niang and I would drive to the town of Uchinoura and see if their city hall had any information on my mom's family.  Here it was Monday, I just arrived late Friday, excited that maybe on Wednesday, 5 days after landing in Japan, I would find a lead.  Cindy and Niang dropped me off at my hotel and we arranged to drive Wednesday, over 2 hours away, and start the hunt.  My task was to get my birth certificate before Wednesday. 

All Monday night and Tuesday I called the office of vital statistics in my state of birth; Kansas City, MO.  Turns out they wouldn't email me a birth certificate and it would take over 2 weeks.  Talked to my wife for ideas to expedite the birth certificate and we decided to have it sent to her and she would then email to me.  I hung up with her and for some reason I didn’t order the birth certificate.  Something told me I wouldn’t need it.  So, I found my mom’s obituary and printed it out instead.  If anyone needed proof she was my mom, her obituary listed me as one of her sons.

Cindy could not meet me Tuesday because she had to teach an English class.  Well, during her class she asked her students if they knew of anyone in Uchinoura.  Someone did!  Crazily, their contact led to the best friend of one of my mom’s sisters.  That friend called my aunt and then, my aunt called Cindy.  Folks, Cindy’s husband told me how happy and surprised Cindy was when she received the call.  Niang told me his wife was ecstatic after she got off the phone and wanted to call me that night and tell me the news, but he convinced her to wait until the next morning when we were meeting to drive to Unchinoura.

Wednesday morning we met at my hotel and Cindy casually walked up and said, “Last night I spoke with your Aunt Hitomi-san!”  I looked at her like a deer in the headlights and said, “What?!”  She repeated what she said then I freaked out!  I couldn’t believe it!  She told me what happened and here is the weirder part.  My son is named Yoshino.  He is named after my brother, who passed away in 1984.  I loved my brother so much and because he was such a great brother and example for me, plus, I wanted to be able to say his name again, I named my son after him.  Well, my aunt lives in the town named Yoshino.  Turns out my other surviving aunt lives in Nagoya.  Ok, I started catching my breath and Cindy said we would meet my aunt in Yoshino, 40 minutes from my hotel, on Saturday. 

Sakemoto-san; best friend of my Aunt Hitomi-san

As we ate breakfast Cindy gave me some more shattering news.  We were still going to Uchinoura, but not to the city hall.  We were going to meet my Aunt Hitomi’s best friend, Sakemoto-san, and she was going to take me to my mom’s parents’ temple/shrine and her childhood home.  OMG….5 days after landing, having no contacts, no plans, no phone service, can’t speak the language, no information on anything…just showing up and I was now going to walk the earth my mom walked and pay respect to my grandparents’ shrine for my mother.  Man, I couldn’t eat fast enough.  Me, Cindy and Niang drove over 2 hours gabbing all the way.  It seemed that we were best friends, enjoying each other’s company and getting to know each other’s lives.  Well, we stopped at a city hall, near a school, where Sakemoto-san was to meet us.  I could barely breath I was so excited!!  Unfortunately, after Cindy talked w/ Sakemoto-san, we were in the wrong town, at the wrong city hall.  So, we piled back in the car and drove to the city hall in Uchinoura.  There, we met Sakemoto-san, the best friend of my Aunt Hitomi.  It was like I was meeting family.  We hugged and she told me how much I looked like an Abe, my mom’s family.  She told me she knew my mom’s whole family and went to their house many times.  It was hard for me to process, but I was standing in the town my mother was raised.  Sakemoto-san said she would take us to the temple and shrine of my mom’s parents.  The storms damaged the graves so the town built a large shrine next to the temple and that is where they house the remains of family members from the town.  We arrived and I stood in front of the temple my mom used to attend as a youth and was so freaked out…I got an asthma attack.  We met the temple priest, Kenshi Kugawa, who happened to be the best friend of my mom’s youngest brother, Nobuyuki.  Kenshi-san also knew all my mom’s family members and he too knew my mom’s parents really well.  Beside the temple was the large building, or shrine, that housed the cremated remains of family members.  They took me in and Sakemoto-san walked me through the proper way to pay respect to my grandmother and grandfather.  Needless to say, I cried so hard, but inside I felt I was crying for my mom.  Through me, she finally paid her respect to her parents, that I know.  We then visited the temple and again, I balled like a baby (see the theme…I see something…I cry:).  After we said our goodbyes to Kenshi-san, it was off to see my mom’s childhood home.

 

My mom's childhood temple

Building/shrine beside the temple that houses

cremated remains of my grandparents

 

Sakemoto-san showing me what I need to do to pay respect

My mom, through me, finally standing before her mother and father's remains, paying respect

The cabinets below house the remains of family members

 

The Abe Shrine 

Saying a prayer in my mom's temple

 

Kenshi-san, best friend of my mom's brother, Nobuyaki

Turns out, a storm destroyed the home my mom lived in as a youth, but on the same piece of land, my Aunt Hitomi’s husband built another home for my grandmother.  So, yes, I got to walk the earth my mom walked.

We arrived in 3 minutes to the Abe home.  OMG…..it was so tough to process all that was going on.  5 days after I landed everything I had dreamed about was coming true.  The son of my mom’s youngest brother, Nobuyaki, now lived in the house but no one was home.  Sakemoto-san asked us to wait and she went around knocking on doors.  Well, from behind my mom’s house Sakemoto-san comes and she is walking with someone who lives 2 homes away from my mom’s house.  It is Kosou Usui, the son of my grandmother’s sister, cousin to my mom and me.  So, I got to meet the first cousin I’ve ever met in my entire life!  My dad is a foster child, with no relatives and 45 years ago we only met my mom’s immediate family once.  We hugged and Cindy told him we were cousins.  He kept saying how happy he was and that filled my heart with so much joy that he accepted me as his family.  Here is the funny part to the story.  In the car, on the way from Kagoshima to Uchinoura, I had told Cindy and Niang how tough my mom was and that she probably beat up many people in her village.  Well, I asked her to ask my cousin if he remembered my mom.  He said of course.  Now, this was a mild-mannered elderly Japanese man, but when I asked Cindy to ask my cousin if my mom was tough, what he did just made me laugh sooo hard.  He punched himself in the face and raised his hands as if he were cowering and when he did that I knew he really did know my mom:)  She was tough, but with the biggest heart.  She gave you everything she had regardless of how little she had.  If you did right…you were good.  If you did wrong, you would look like my cousin getting whooped on the head a few times…haha.  We left my cousin, which broke my heart, and went to lunch.  Yes, I invited him, but he was awaiting a call from his sick sister so unfortunately he couldn’t join us.  We had a wonderful lunch, provided by Sakemoto-san, which included fish-head soup, saba, miso soup and a few other delicious dishes.  What a treat because much of the food was exactly the way my mom prepared it.  The restaurant was 30 yards from my mom’s house and behind the restaurant was the beach.  Yes, my mom lived on the beach.  It was her playground.  Her sister told me she would always swim in the water and play around the beach.  Sakemoto-san had to depart to do a task, so after she departed, we went back to the beach in front of my mom’s house and just soaked up the moment.  The sand and scene looked like Southern California.  My wife, kids and friends can tell you, I am massively attracted to the beach.  Every opportunity I can, I walk in the water and sand.  Now I know…it’s in my blood. 

First cousin I have ever met in my entire life; Kosou Usui

 

 The land where my mom's childhood home stood.  Now, this is the new home, but same land.  The writing on the wall says, "Abe." 

Our lunch at the restaurant behind my mom's childhood home

 

Cindy, Niang and I finished enjoying the beach, drove by the school my mom attended and headed back to my hotel, exhausted from the wonderful experience of fulfilling my promise to my mom, but just thankful for how things turned out. 

 

 

 

My mom's old playground.  The beach and water in front of their home.  Those are my feet walking the earth my mom walked

 

Ok, if you got this far, here is something really crazy.  It’s like a magician’s trick.  You know the one.  They give you a card, you rip it up and then they pull an egg out of a carton, crack it open and bammm…inside is your card with your name on it. 

So, my mom gave all of her children the Abe family seal.  I just wanted to confirm it.  Cindy just so happened to have a folder with all the family seals in Japan.  She has had this folder for 15 or more years.  Keep in mind she has been in Japan for 25 years, so she said it could have been longer.  Later in the week, Cindy brought out the folder, showed me the list of family seals, then she gasped really loud.  I asked her what was wrong and she held up the folder.  On the folder is a picture of a person and beside him was his name:  Michy.  This guy’s name is the same as mine, but unlike me, he spells the short version with a “y” and I spell mine like this:  Michi.  Crazy, huh??  For some reason that folder epitomizes this entire trip.  Chance occurrences that keep happening.  Why did I choose this hotel?  It isn’t even close to Kagoshima.  If I didn’t come to this hotel, I wouldn’t have met Cindy, who had that folder, she wouldn’t have asked her class the question, I wouldn’t have had such wonderful service from staff who had been to my hometown, etc, etc….I don’t know. 

This is the folder.  My name is on the upper left

 

Tomorrow, Part 3….meeting my aunt.  Would she accept me?  How would the meeting go?  All these things raced through my mind as the day got closer. 

 Me, Cindy and Niang

Only one missing is Scooby:)

 

Part 1 of my "Journey to fulfill a promise"

 

My Mom, Kinuko Abe Montague

 

This journey began at the bedside of my mom, with a promise.  Before my Mom passed away I promised her I would visit her hometown, Kagoshima, Japan. She didn’t believe I would do it, but here I am, happy that I came.  No one, except my oldest brother who was my mother’s first son, ever visited her hometown, so this was big.
 

Unfortunately, for our family, we had no contacts with any of her family members after my mom passed away.  We didn’t know the status of any of her 10 siblings.  Over the last 15 years I have asked family members for any birth certificates, marriage license or anything that could give an indication of my mom’s hometown.  Simply, a place to start.  I did receive my oldest brother’s reconstructed birth certificate that had his place of birth, but the location listed still was Kagoshima. 
 

Before I tell you about this incredible journey I must first start by telling you a little about my mom, Kinuko Abe Montague (Abe was her maiden name).  Die hard Japanese who never became an American citizen, but now that I am here, in her corner of the world, I understand that decision.  The most important thing you need to know about her, to understand the story of my journey, is that she was mystical.   Yes, strange occurrences and super natural things swirled around her.  There are many stories, but you need to know this before you hear my story about coming to her hometown because mystical events have happened over and over.  Here is a sample of her mystical ways in a story that many of my friends and family know about.  In June 1984, I was at home, freshly graduated from college and heading off to the military schooling in Indiana.  As I drove across the country alone, I began to get lonely because of the quietness and boredom of driving so many miles.  Arrived in Minneapolis, MN and called my mom from a pay phone (remember those), crying like a baby and expressed I was lonely and sad.  My mom said to me, “You will meet someone, don’t worry."  I asked when and she said again, "You will meet someone!"  We hung up the phone (yes, in the old days you really hung up the phone) and I walked through an outdoor mall where I spotted a mink coat in the window.  My mom always wanted a mink coat and since I was a newly appointed officer, with a little cash, I wanted to see how much the coat cost, so I tried to enter the store.  It was a large door which opened from the center and had a left and right handled door.  I grabbed the right handle (my right) and the door wouldn’t open.  I then noticed a sign on the right door with an arrow pointing to my left and the sign read, "Please use the other door."  It meant use the other handle, but I thought it meant the doorway 10 feet to my left.  So, I walked into the other doorway and saw a woman standing in a beautiful dress, with a sash around her that read:  Miss Teen Minnesota.  Turns out I walked into a wedding store and this young lady loaned herself out to the store to model wedding dresses.  After a short conversation I walked out of the store and turned left to go back to the mink coat store.  As my hand released the door handle I heard someone yell my name.  I looked around and didn’t see anyone so I kept walking and immediately, a woman burst out of the wedding store and yelled my name.  I turned around and there was a young lady, Laura, who was a member of my unit at a military advanced camp the year before.  She worked at the wedding store.  After she told her boss the incredible story of how I just happened to walk into her store, her boss gave her the day off.  She lived with her sister and they both showed me Minneapolis, helping me reenergize my spirit.  Incredible story, but one example of my mom’s mystical ways.  Well, wait until you hear the story of my journey to Japan. 
Folks, I talk with my mom every day.  Her and my fav brother, Yoshi, have long passed but I always converse with them and over the past years it has helped me get through all the family drama. 

My plan for this trip to Japan; simply allow events to unfold.  No plans and didn't want to  influence the moment in the usual "Michi fashion”  by making sh!t happen.  No, I needed to allow things to flow and swirl around me.  I tried but couldn’t find any salient information on the web to use other than my brother’s birth certificate.  I didn’t book my hotel until 2 days before my trip, just trying to think where I should stay that would allow me the ability to travel in the Kagoshima region with ease.  My mom’s obituary says she was born in Kagoshima, Japan.  Instead of staying in the city of Kagoshima I chose to stay in a city 40 minutes north of Kagoshima.  This would allow me to travel all through the Kagoshima Prefecture (like a state) and not be bogged down with traffic.  Yes, the city and the Prefecture (or state) is named the same; Kagoshima.  Just showed up and have been allowing things to unfold.
 

Departed DC with a 4 hr layover in Toronto, Canada, then flew to Tokyo, with another 4 hour layover.  Needless to say, like in 1984, I was a bit lonely and isolated because I didn’t have phone service and everyone was speaking Japanese.  In the Tokyo airport I stopped in the only American coffee shop, SBC (for non-WA State folks, that is Seattle’s Best Coffee) relaxing, drinking my coffee, then a SBC employee approached me and asked in perfect English, “Is everything ok?"  I looked up, shocked that someone was speaking English to me, and said, "Great!"  We struck up a conversation and turns out this young lady went to college at the University of Idaho, 7 miles from where I went to college, Washington State University.  Heck, every Coug knows about Moscow, Idaho because back in the day, Moscow was the only place that had a mall and franchise eating establishments.  She said she rarely told people where she went to college because no one knew where Moscow, Idaho was located so she was thrilled that we both had Palouse blood coursing through our veins (Pullman/Moscow joke:).  After I left her I thought to myself, my mom’s at it again, helping me along the way. 

Coug and a Vandal
 

Inspired and invigorated I jumped on the airport internet and started mapping my way to the hotel in Kirishima, Japan.  I used Google Maps and got the street view so I could literally travel down the roads.  You know, where you see the actual streets like you were already there.  All roads except the last road to the hotel had a number sign I could read.  What would tell me to turn once I got to the street my hotel was on?  As I was looking at the street view in Google Maps, lo and behold, right on the corner I was to turn is a friggin’ barber pole.  Guess what folks, my mom was a barber.  She owned her own barber shop in Tillicum, WA.  Ok, this was getting weird.

Here is the barber pole on the corner I needed to turn left.  See the white car turning left?  Great landmark, right?
 

Traveling from Tokyo to Kagoshima, late night Friday, was a rough 90 minute flight.  The entire plane was Japanese except me and I sat in the last aisle alone.  As I looked out the window I began crying hard because I felt a weight lifted from my shoulder; I was fulfilling my promise to my mom!  15 years after she passed, I carried this promise around telling my friends and family I was going to Japan someday.  As I sat quietly crying the flight attendant approached and asked if everything was good.  Explained my story and why I was crying, then she began to cry too.  She departed and soon more flight attendants showed up with presents expressing they heard my story and they began crying with me.  Needless to say, I had a cry fest with a bunch of strangers, but it felt nice that the Japanese people were accepting me. 

Welcome sign at Kagoshima Airport
 

Got to my hotel and all is good.  Checked in and then showed my WA State driver’s license to one of the two hotel clerks who speak English.  Turns out she lived in Renton, WA and went to Kentridge, HS for 1 year.  That is about 30 min from where I went to high school.  C'mon….what’s going on.  On my 2rd day in the hotel, I asked the other English speaking hotel clerk, who had been awesomely helpful, her name.  (Ok, here is where it gets really weird.  One of my fav aunts was my mom’s brother’s wife.  We lived in Yokohama, Japan for one year in the late 60s.  My mom’s relatives visited us and we met most if not all her brothers, sisters and parents (It was the only time we ever met them). The clerk’s name was Shoko, the same as one of my fav aunts.  Ok, I just stared at her and got watery eyes thinking….what is going on here!?!  So, with these two hotel staff, my stay at this obscure hotel has been absolutely glorious.  But there is more.
 

The next morning, Saturday, I ventured out.  On the way back I noticed a sign that read in English:  English classes.  Heck, my thoughts were, whoever is teaching English classes might be able to teach me Japanese.  The classes are taught next door to my hotel.  I walked to the office to inquire about Japanese classes and the room was dark.  As I departed I noticed a sign with a woman’s name on it that gave the English classes….bamm, I would Google her and get her info.  So, got back to my room, found her contact info and emailed her.  Crazily she responded and told me to meet her on Monday at noon.  Please keep in mind, I landed at 10 pm Friday, saw her sign Sat, she emailed me Sat night and Monday I would meet her.  Let's just say, this woman, who I never met, meets me Monday and Tue night she is talking to my aunt.  Wait until you hear the forces at hand....crazy!!!  Part 2 shortly.....but here are some pics of my trip so far.....

 Breakfast:  top plate is pickled cucumbers, radish, squid and Satsuma-age (fried fish cake).  Yes, we grew up eating all this:)

 These are views from my hotel room.

 My hotel has a church in it...c'mon...a church!  First time in my life I've been in a hotel with a church.

The pride of Kagoshima is the volcano, Sakurajima, which is smack in the middle of the bay.  It spewed ash over 200 days last year.  It has spewed ash 75% of the time since arriving.